At the heart of any true relationship lies forgiveness. In a world that increasingly looks to blame others for its ills, we are building up toxic levels of anger both within borders and within individuals. However satisfying it might feel to vent venomous words or thoughts towards one who has wronged us, all that anger only comes back, like a boomerang, and inflicts a deep wound upon us.
I have struggled in this area. For the most part I have wanted to take hold of practical, purpose-driven relationships and assume that they are meaningful friendships. Sadly, this is not the case and I need to be less precious about this, since the majority of our relationships throughout our life are pragmatic, and exist for the opportunity they offer to achieve something of value together.
For me, I think there is a maturing taking place, perhaps later in life than for many, when I have needed to come to recognise that friendship is a rarity and that the majority of healthy relationships are for a season to achieve an agreed outcome together. It is perhaps my own fault that I have required too much of people who in fairness never committed to anything more than working together.
While there are those relationships where real psychological or physical abuse has taken place, I want to reflect upon the normal cut and thrust of our everyday interactions and acknowledge that we will feel let down, misrepresented and, at times, cheated. Even if we are able to make a strong case in our favour and the evidence stacks up, we are to remind ourselves of a God who fully forgives and extends friendship and love long before any one of us either deserved or were looking for it. It is because God’s nature is to forgive that we are invited to adopt a similar approach, and not harbour anger that leads to bitterness and resentment.
(Dr Micha Jazz)
With many peaceful blessings